Unreturned phone calls. Half-hearted interactions. Beef between friends. Things that I just usually would avoid in the United States... they are hitting me full-force here.
I found out today that people do actually read this blog. TOM, STOP READING! It made me feel both really happy and really sad. I know he was only joking, but when Tom made the comment that he had the impression that I didn't like Edinburgh, it bothered me. I do like it here. I really, really do.
It's just such a huge internal struggle... every single day. There is so much to consider-- my life at home. My life here. The ways in which I am changing.
Do I go back to London? Do I withhold things that I am feeling that might hurt others?
Life lessons, and all that bullshit.
I knew that I would be learning a lot about myself here, but I wasn't sure how. I'm still not sure I understand what it is that I'm finding out, but I can feel it happening every single day.
That, in itself, is a comfort.