Saturday, May 2, 2009

5/2/9 :: Story Is All Over You

To be perfectly honest, my life here recently has been a bit of a blur.  Tonight was my 4th night in a row of drinking-- a house party at Jo's.  The picture above is from two nights ago at Cab Vol.  That's Zach.  Heh.  It's all in good fun, of course, but it comes with a price.  

Unreturned phone calls.  Half-hearted interactions.   Beef between friends.  Things that I just usually would avoid in the United States... they are hitting me full-force here.

I found out today that people do actually read this blog.  TOM, STOP READING!  It made me feel both really happy and really sad.  I know he was only joking, but when Tom made the comment that he had the impression that I didn't like Edinburgh, it bothered me.  I do like it here.  I really, really do.  

It's just such a huge internal struggle... every single day.  There is so much to consider-- my life at home.  My life here.  The ways in which I am changing.

Do I go back to London?  Do I withhold things that I am feeling that might hurt others?  

Life lessons, and all that bullshit.

I knew that I would be learning a lot about myself here, but I wasn't sure how.  I'm still not sure I understand what it is that I'm finding out, but I can feel it happening every single day.
That, in itself, is a comfort.

4 comments:

thomasjacobmcwilliam said...

You go girl!

Say it from the heart,
But don't get too smart.

You have this blog thing to a fine art,
i just wish you didn't smell of fart.

Stop dressing like a tart,
it's time to make a fresh start.

thomasjacobmcwilliam said...

http://wwwthomasjacobmcwilliam.blogspot.com/

lowercasenoun said...

I'm a subscriber to the Daily Kelly.

justlikehoneyyy said...

thomas, you know your poetry always cuts right to the core of me. you should think about trying to get published.

on a second thought-- you are already published on the most popular blog on the internet.
((ahem))
here.

glad you read.
and glad i am all over your new blog already.
HA.


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ani, i know <3. you should write more. and so should i. derrrr...
bet you are glad the semester is over, eh?
: D