6/2/09:: Nick and Norah

Today was a bit of a bummer.  Andy left around 11am, and I was sad to see him go.  I had a lazy day and prepared myself for his call.  We had made plans to see each other again this evening.

I kept my phone glued to my side all day, periodically checking it to make sure I hadn't just not heard it ring.  Unfortunately, it was no mistake-- he never called.

Crushed!

I curled up in bed and watched Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.  Truly predictable and trend-a-rific, but I'm not ashamed to say that I enjoyed it.  

It really scares me that it's June now.  Now I will always know how many days are left in my adventure here.  There is so much about going home that scares me.  I'm not prepared to leave the life that I've been building here.  I will miss so much the way it has been so easy for me to meet people my own age, feel young-- and not to mention, just Edinburgh in general.  

Maybe that's why it was so hurtful when I didn't hear from Andy.  

I'm just really aware that happily ever after is getting shorter every day.

6/1/09 :: Jazz and Liverpool

Tonight, we went to The Jazz Bar-- a really lovely jazz place that I've been wanting to go to since February but just had never gotten around to it.  It was supposed to be a large group thing, but it turned out to be only the girls, Scott and Richy, and Tom McWilliam.  

I'm sure Tom must've wanted to punch himself in the face for being stuck with us for the night, but I really enjoyed his company.  He's going home for work placement on the tenth, and I probably won't be seeing him again.  It meant a lot to me that he came out.  Every time I hang out with him, I want to tell him that I wish I had gotten a chance to know him better.  But perhaps it won't be the last time I see him... so I shouldn't say things like that.

After some drinks and my first taste of Guinness (thanks Tom!), Dan and Claire showed up, and we decided to make a break for Cab Vol before it closed.  Not so surprisingly, the club was empty.  Dan spotted a guy in goofy glasses and plaid... and so I danced with him (obviously).  He asked me to go outside for a smoke, and I was surprised to find he was actually really lovely.

His name was Andy, and he was from Liverpool.  Andy and I decided to make a break for it and had the most smashing drunken walk home, perhaps in all of history.  I brought him back to my flat only to find my roommates had spotted Andy and I and had filmed us the whole way home. 

PUNK'D.

Anyway, Andy and I spent a really lovely night together, and I was truly sad when he left in the morning.    We smoked cigarettes as the sun came up and talked a lot about our families and music.  He made me laugh so, so much, and I felt really comfortable around him.  That's pretty rare-- at least for me.

I gave him my number, but he never called.  I'd like to think it's just because he's going back to Liverpool on Saturday, but it probably was a true diss.  Typical behavior from a not-so-typical guy.

5/27/09 :: The Circus

Today Lindsey and I moved into Sara's flat in Marchmont-- just across the meadows from where I pay my rent.  Two of her flatmate's moved out but are still paying on the lease, so we decided to take a mini-vacation and move in for a bit.  

We celebrated our first night out by going to City, which was simply unusual, to be certain.  I brought home Liam, which was a joke and a half.  He seemed to think I was some sort of celebrity because I am American.  Not that I'm complaining, but it was truly weird.  To get him to leave, I pretended like I had to go to work and did a walk around the block in business casual clothes at 7:30am.  Hilarious.

We didn't see much of Sara on this night, as she was with Scott.  The card castle is from Lindsey and I the next morning-- bored waiting for Sara to get out of bed.  Turns out we'd have to wait till 4pm.

My life truly has become a circus.

5/21/9 :: Revisiting The One Below

What I thought for sure was going to be a bust turned out to be a great night.  I opted not to follow Lindsey and Sara to Cav, so I organized something of my own.  I invited friends over for some drinks at mine, and it was great to spend some time with graphics people-- as always.  We piled together on my bed in my room and enjoyed each other's company until about 2am.  Around that time, we spilled onto the streets and hiked to The One Below on the corner of Princes Street.  The One Below was one of the first places I went with graphics people when I got to Edinburgh, so it was nice to go back there.  Dan Porter and Tom Carlile both bought me drinks, which was lovely.  

I've really been aware of how limited my time is here, so every time I get to have one of these kinds of nights, it's like a band aid on a wound.  I am going to miss every one so much when I go.  It almost makes me sick to think about it.

5/6/9 :: Garbage

I've been scanning my trash and things I find lying around on the floor in my room.  I don't know if I'm trying to savor memories or if I'm just suddenly aware of/fascinated by how different my life is here.

I think blogging has a lot to do with loneliness. I often come here to write when I have something I want to tell someone but don't have anyone to tell. Out of all the things I miss from the USA (one huge one being my car), what I think I miss most of all is having a regular phone. Just being able to call one of many people at any time for a chat.

I'd probably call Josh right now.

And I'd tell him about my rejection letters from some of the companies. And how I applied to about 10 more companies. And I'd tell him that I finally talked to Wilson. He seemed to not notice that we haven't talked in a long time-- he's been sick with the flu. .

My room is really, truly trashed. I also have no idea what I'm going to do for my website redesign, which is due on Friday morning. I've thought about it a bit, but nothing really seems to stick with me as a great idea. 

Lindsey and Sara are both mad at me. Partly because I was a total bitch to them when the London thing got cancelled. I can't help feeling like they teamed up on me behind my back. I saw them today, laughing on the street under an umbrella, and they didn't acknowledge me. I wasn't really surprised.

Everything seems like a bad decision. I feel confident in nothing right now. I need to sort things out and start making some choices that I feel truly confident in. I don't know where to start, and I'm not sure I have the energy. 

I need some courage.

It's raining cats and dogs out. How fitting.
No wonder I feel weighted to the bed.

2/10/9 :: Toothbrush

Last night was completely ridiculous, and as much as I would like to tell you about my drunken antics, I have a much more serious matter to discuss:  my toothbrush.

Within my first two weeks of living here, my toothbrush went missing.  The older flat-owner, Lea, had gone away for the weekend (and I assume mistakenly) took my toothbrush with her.  I was really disturbed to think that she probably had been using mine for those first two weeks, thinking it was hers.  *Shudders*

I got over it.  I got a new toothbrush.  A delightful green one from Superdrug.  I was getting quite attached to it actually, and then, the following incident occurred.

Last night, when I flung myself back into my flat after the club, I was feeling quite sick, of course.  But once I had finished expelling mishmash from my stomach, I made the healthy decision to brush my teeth.  (Sensible, yes?)  I looked around for my toothbrush-- gone.  No where to be found.  I thought I was just too stupid drunk to see it, so I went to bed, teeth unsatisfied.

This morning, as I'm making myself something to eat, I decide to be friendly and unload the dishwasher.  Low and behold... there is my toothbrush, along with all the other toothbrushes from the bathroom... in the dishwasher, among the forks and knives and other eatery tools.

Who puts someone else's toothbrush in the dishwasher??  

I'm starting to think people in this country are completely mad.

And I'm keeping my new red toothbrush in my room.

1/7/9 :: Elephant House Antics

Please excuse my poor attempt at piecing together an image of my bedroom.  It's quite difficult-- especially with all of this yellow light : )   I know my pictures have been atrocious so far.  I'll do better soon, I promise.

I've been so excited about all the social changes I've been faced with that I'm afraid the academic ones have fallen to second interest at the moment.  Today we were officially assigned our first brief-- I am to design a corporate identity for ecommo.com, a new ecommerce business started by graduates of Edinburgh University.  This involves a logo, stationary suite, and a website.  I do believe I am the only one in the group who has any experience in this sort of thing, so I feel a bit confident.  Just not too confident.  I haven't seen anyone's work yet really.

Every day I feel a little bit more comfortable here.  Every day it seems someone new makes a small effort to get to know me, and when you are new in a place like this, the smallest gestures mean so much.  Tom stopped to chat to me while I was outside smoking, and it made me feel very happy.  He walked off to go run an errand but came back saying he had something to show me.  He invited me to follow him down Lady Lawson.  I was so flattered and excited that I forgot to pay close attention to what he was saying (his accent is thicker and requires a lot of concentration on my part).  Suddenly, we were standing in front of a person whose face was entirely covered in piercings and tattoos-- what a sight!  Tom just smiled and crossed the street in his little kitten-ear cap.  I was delighted and wanted to run after him and walk, but I refrained.

After studio, I met Joe at The Elephant House for some coffee and work.  The work never really happened, but the talking was so nice.  It felt like I had a friend instead of just an acquaintance.  Joe has always been the most outgoing with me, so it's no surprise that he was the first that I got to connect with on a friendship level.  We joked about the differences between American and UK language, and his attempt at an American accent made me laugh until my stomach hurt.  It was the best afternoon.  Walking home, I didn't get very lost at all either.

All in all, it was a nice day.  I'm really loving it here so, so much.  The only downside is forcing myself to do design work amidst all the other excitement.  Also, it does get quite lonely in the evenings, seeing as I don't know many people yet.  I'm hoping that will change soon-- especially after the party on Saturday.  I do hope I can muster some courage to be myself around all those new people and not be a wallflower.  Joe seemed most interested when I told him about beer pong, but I do think I frightened him with my pants-ripping story, haha.  

That's all for tonight.  Tomorrow is another day!

1/5/9 :: First Day of Uni

Today was my first day of Uni, which was exhausting to say the least.  Above is a photo of the outside of my flat, door 30, Flat 4-- which is on the top floor.  I stepped out this morning to find myself feeling quite intimidated and excited.  If you could pan around the other direction of that photo, you would find yourself staring straight at my college.  I can see into classrooms from my window.

When I got to school, I went right to registry for my orientation as a visiting student.  After filling out some forms and paying some fees, I had some time to meet the other exchange students.  There are quite a few from the US, but none in my department.  I met a girl from Traverse City who is studying costume design.  Her name is Lily, and she was quite nice.  Though, I was eager to get to my department and meet my future friends.  When I got there, I found the entire graphics department to be one large room, split into four sections-- one for each year of the program.  I was in smack in the middle with the third year kids.  They greeted me with smiles and a note on my desk that said "Kelly- Welcome :)"

The first day was a bit awkward, as all the other students were finishing up a project from last term that will be put in an exhibition in a few weeks.  Also, they had a lot to catch up with one another about, as it was their first day seeing each other after break.  The group is a very close-knit family-- they seem to do everything together.  Many of them share flats with one another.  There are probably fifteen of us in all.  

From what I gather, tutors will be popping in throughout the week, and off and on we will have various briefs, which are projects that we solely work on.  ONE PROJECT AT A TIME!  Can you believe this??  Also, no one in the group has ever really done a lot of work with the software that we all know like the back of our hands.  We seem to be polar opposites in terms of skill level.  Everything here is hand-focused.  They do a lot of screenprinting and typesetting.  In a few weeks we will be doing a litho project with an illustration student.  I am most excited to explore this new way of designing.

I went out to lunch with people from the class in the morning-- Joe and Shonagh in particular were kind to me.  It was nice to have them offering out kindness, but I still feel like a bit of an outsider, of course.  Ani will be happy to know we had coffee at The Elephant House, which is the cafe where J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter.  Tomorrow I will be finding out more about the first project.  All in all it was an exhausting day, concluding by getting lost in the city.  Good fun.