1/2/11:: Oh... by the way...

Things I've been and will be doing:

• Re-reading Walden by Thoreau (in its entirety this time)
• **Completing P90x (in other words, getting in serious shape)
• *Rounding off the 6 month marker (January 2011) on being Smoke Free
• Getting to #300 with my 1001 Films To See Before I Die project
• *Reaching 12k in my savings account

**Progress update on April 21, 2011

*Progress update on February 2, 2011

12/12/10 :: See you when I resurface

You don't have to keep track of anyone else to keep track of yourself. There are no deadlines for introspection, and you only have yourself to hold accountable when you fall behind. You can't get jealous at someone else for doing it better, and you can't be embarrassed about anything (because no one will ever know).

Do I think having the $70 shower curtain will make me a freer spirit? Not really. But I guess it's always been in my imaginary bathroom– the one that I imagine myself having when I'm happier. The details of my future life are more real to me than the reality of the one I'm living now. Sometimes that terrifies me, and other times I rationalize that as ambition. I'm not clear on which is wise and which is delusion. (Your opinion is as useless as mine by the way.)

I spend so much time alone that I am working so much out in my head. Without making contact with people, I've sorted out and/or dissolved friendships, cleared messes, and put to rest issues. Imagine spring garage cleaning without ever stepping foot into the garage.

I'm learning to depend on myself, and while I've strived for this for so long– it's starting to scare me a little too. Where is the balance? Why is there never a balance of socialization versus isolation? Why am I always plummeting headfirst into dark oceans when it comes to decisions and states-of-mind?

I will resurface. But I'm not sure when.

11/30/10:: Concentration

Guess what? When it comes right down to it, wherever you go, there you are. Whatever you wind up doing, that's what you've wound up doing. Whatever you are thinking right now, that's what's on your mind. Whatever has happened to you, it has already happened. The important question is, how are you going to handle it? In other words, "Now what?"

Like it or not, this moment is all we really have to work with. Yet we all too easily conduct our lives as if forgetting momentarily that we are here, where we already are, and that are in what we are already in. In every moment, we find ourselves at the crossroad of here and now. But when the cloud of forgetfulness over where we are now sets in, in that very moment we get lost. "Now what?" becomes a real problem.

By lost, I mean that we momentarily lose touch with ourselves and with the full extent of our possibilities. Instead, we fall into a robotlike way of seeing and thinking and doing. In those moments, we break contact with what is deepest in ourselves and affords us perhaps our greatest opportunities for creativity, learning, and growing. If we are not careful, those clouded moments can stretch out and become most of our lives.

-jon kabat-zinn

11/9/10:: 3rd Nature - Detroit Creative Awareness

SO, seeing as I posted earlier about the DetroitLives project, I must come tell you about something else that is super awesome in Detroit right now. A very good friend of mine from my time at College for Creative Studies, Haley Querro, is working on a project/movement in Detroit called 3rd Nature: Detroit Creative Awareness.

Basically, this is a new organization/collective/movement that is shedding light on the creatives of Detroit-- attempting to bring people together to share with one another and hopefully result in a larger impact on the Detroit community.

There are all sorts of exciting things going on like a proposal to Detroit Soup, an upcoming event featuring the band Deadbeat Beat, and an opportunity to be a part of a Detroit-positive-themed art show.

Information on all of those things are available in the links above or at 3rd Nature's homepage:

http://3rdnaturedetroit.com/

Or you can follow them on Twitter for the latest news:

http://twitter.com/3rdnaturedet

Yes please!

Be a part of the positivity!

Submit artwork, communicate, party, and celebrate Detroit!

11/2/10:: Started recently:

10/30/10:: Rumination

Rumination is comprised of two separate variables -- reflection and brooding. The reflection part of rumination can actually be somewhat helpful -- reflecting on a problem can lead you to a solution. Also, reflecting on certain events can help you process strong emotions associated with the issue. However, rumination in general, and brooding in particular, are associated with less proactive behavior and more of a negative mood. Co-rumination, where you rehash a situation with friends until you’ve talked it to death, also brings more stress to both parties. In short, if you find yourself constantly replaying something in your mind and dwelling on the injustice of it all, thinking about what you should have said or done, without taking any corresponding action, you’re likely making yourself feel more stressed. And you are also likely experiencing some of the negative effects of rumination.

From About.com: Stress Management - By Elizabeth Scott, M.S.

Ruminating is a style of thinking in which, like a hamster in a cage, you run in tight circles on a treadmill in your brain. It means obsessing about problems, about a loss, about any kind of a setback or ambiguity without moving past thought into the realm of action.The trouble with rumination is at least twofold. As you ruminate, you deepen the grooves in the brain, intensifying levels of anxiety and depression. And your problems remain unsolved, and are perhaps even exacerbated by the failure to move on them. Women are predisposed to rumination, largely because they value relationships and thus devote a great deal of time and mental energy to processing the often-ambiguous content of them.

From Psychology Today - By Ellen McGrath, published on April 11, 2003

Symptoms and Effects include:

*Stress

*Extreme or Crippling Negativity/Pessimism

*Binge-eating

*Self-sabotaging

*Hypertension

*Heart palpitations/Anxiety attacks

Stay tuned for mindfulness/meditative solutions.

10/20/10:: Can't Stop Watching...