7/28/10:: Welcome Back, Cotter.

Healing has been an every day project. It's so strange how so many days will go by without any progress... and then Poof! One day I'll accomplish 3 or 4 new things I couldn't do the day before. I most look forward to the day when I can sleep on my side or tummy again. Today I was able to go down the stairs without a cane.

This blog has served more like a diary than anything else over the past year and more. My other movie blog is much more structured and project-based, and although I don't think this blog needs structure, perhaps it could benefit from more productivity.

I've been writing mostly in my private journal lately, as my emotions and physical recovery have been the focus for the past few weeks. In an effort to get back to my normal self, I am going to try to open things back up here.

Look forward to some new recipes, design, thoughts, and such soon.
Thanks for the well wishes and the patience as well.

7/17/10:: Pause

I am thinking a lot these days.
For better or for worse, yet to be known.

It's been a week without cigarettes, and I haven't missed them at all.

Tomorrow is Sunday- the day of rest. Thank goodness.

7/11/10: visual

7/11/10:: Aftermath.

Things have been really intense lately.

Car accident.
Broken pelvis. Broken tailbone.
Hospital.
Morphine. Pain pills. IV.
Constipation.
Walkers. Canes. Wheelchairs.
Sleep.
Pain pills.
Rehab. Physical therapists.
Crying.
Sleep.
Pain pills.

Then California..
Pain.
Travel.
Tired.
JOE!
Emotional turmoil...
Yet grateful..

Now I'm home, and the excitement is over.

I quit smoking today. I set the goal long ago-- "I'll quit smoking the day after my 23rd birthday."
I actually never really was sure if I was going to do it or not.
But surprisingly, I acted like a robot this morning. I smoked my last cigarette on the front porch, and as soon as I was done, I made my mom drive me to the pharmacy to get Nicorette.

The withdrawal headache is the worst part so far, and the gum doesn't really seem to do anything about that.
I'm having my first piece just now though-- made it through the whole day without it.

We'll see.

Hoping to turn a lot of things around about my life right now. It's hard to stay positive, but I'm doing my best.
That's all I can say for right now.

Sigh.

6/10/10:: The Milk Trip Mission Accomplished

I find my biggest challenge at this point is patience. Impatience causes many problems not only for myself but for my relationships. Impatience with finding a job leads to apathy/stress. Impatience with friends leads to self-inflicted isolation. Impatience with my future leads to feelings of hopelessness. Impatience with my emotional development leads to self-destructive behavior. I'm constantly aware, and that allows me to pause, breathe, and react intelligently. I'm getting better, but I'm not perfect.

On the whole, I am doing very well. I have a few pieces out on the board, and it's my turn to roll.

I'm going to bed now at 6am after a long night of red wine on the couch in Schvee's garage. We had some good talks about the future... and the past actually. Little discussion of the present, which I guess doesn't need much explaining. We are living it together.

Tomorrow will go smoothly if I will it. Looking forward to that.

This sleep is going to be so. so so so so. good.

6/6/10:: Meowmania

Found this when creepin' on Pielichaty's tumblr. Completely made my day.

http://meowmania.jqln.org/

6/1/10:: Surfin USA

If everybody had an ocean
Across the U.S.A.
Then everybody'd be surfin'
Like californ-I-A
You'd see 'em wearin' their baggies
Huarachi sandals, too
A bushy bushy blonde hairdo
Surfin' U.S.A.


ONLY 31 DAYS AWAY. <3