To be perfectly honest, my life here recently has been a bit of a blur. Tonight was my 4th night in a row of drinking-- a house party at Jo's. The picture above is from two nights ago at Cab Vol. That's Zach. Heh. It's all in good fun, of course, but it comes with a price. Unreturned phone calls. Half-hearted interactions. Beef between friends. Things that I just usually would avoid in the United States... they are hitting me full-force here.
I found out today that people do actually read this blog. TOM, STOP READING! It made me feel both really happy and really sad. I know he was only joking, but when Tom made the comment that he had the impression that I didn't like Edinburgh, it bothered me. I do like it here. I really, really do.
It's just such a huge internal struggle... every single day. There is so much to consider-- my life at home. My life here. The ways in which I am changing.
Do I go back to London? Do I withhold things that I am feeling that might hurt others?
Life lessons, and all that bullshit.
I knew that I would be learning a lot about myself here, but I wasn't sure how. I'm still not sure I understand what it is that I'm finding out, but I can feel it happening every single day.
That, in itself, is a comfort.
4 comments:
You go girl!
Say it from the heart,
But don't get too smart.
You have this blog thing to a fine art,
i just wish you didn't smell of fart.
Stop dressing like a tart,
it's time to make a fresh start.
http://wwwthomasjacobmcwilliam.blogspot.com/
I'm a subscriber to the Daily Kelly.
thomas, you know your poetry always cuts right to the core of me. you should think about trying to get published.
on a second thought-- you are already published on the most popular blog on the internet.
((ahem))
here.
glad you read.
and glad i am all over your new blog already.
HA.
-----
ani, i know <3. you should write more. and so should i. derrrr...
bet you are glad the semester is over, eh?
: D
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