Problem solving and the problem I have with design

I don't know why I never cared about science or politics before. I always really thought history was more interesting, and I guess if I'm being honest, it was more FUN to remember stories than to solve problems. That probably has something to do with why I went to art school… it seemed to somewhat align with my outlook on just staying out of the business of serious, hopeless & frustrating problem-solving. Then there was the rude awakening when I realized that doing design IS just problem-solving... the same problem over and over again. They try to tell you at school that each design challenge is unique, but that's kind of the scam. Generally speaking, most people (and therefore clients) really just want to look good in the market and be on-trend with their demo. There's nothing wrong with that at all -- in fact, that really makes a lot of sense. It's how I feel about my own brand as well. 

My point is… I am disappointed in myself for holding so much interest for so long in something that can actually be quite dull and simplistic at its core. I sometimes catch myself wishing that I was working on a different problem -- maybe one that mattered to more people.  It's okay to do design for a living, but I just think there are more interesting problems to solve. I'll let you know if I change my mind on all of this 4 years from now. Stay tuned.

Things that need to remain priorities

Keep your life in perspective, future-self.

1. Spend a week in a place I've never been (mega-trip) at least once every 2 years.
2. Camp out, at least 1 night per year.
3. Convertible (or sun roof) before kids.
4. Live in a place where it's year-round beautiful.
5. Get a screened-in porch or patio + GRILL!
6. Keep making wine.
7. Grow and use more herbs.
8. Read at least 3 great books [preferably classics] each year.

to be continued.

Abandonment of the Current "Reality"

Sometimes I think my reality is merely a long-sustained illusion.

The relationships that I cultivate and nourish, the walls I construct around myself, the boxes that I move myself to and from day after day, the images I have of myself, and the problems that I envision with their solutions. Am I always just a slight mind-slip away from seeing them as nothing more than a fiction? How important is it to them that I continue to believe and "progress" and shape them? What if I called them out and question their validity? Would they sustain or collapse? How hard would it be to wake up and be a completely different person-- with a different personality, face, and life? Do I want to? Is this what I am, or is this merely what my path has made me into?

Thoughts feel like a swarm of insects tonight. Hot and infectious, and there seems to be no escape.

Mini-Meditations for May

See the glass already broken: Every rock is formed and every rock will vanish. It is only a matter of when.  Use perspective. And instead of thinking, "Oh my God!," find yourself thinking, "Ah, there it goes..."


Search for the grain of truth in other's opinions: When you judge someone else's opinion, it doesn't say anything about the other person, but it does say something about your need to be judgmental.

Seek first to understand: Become more interested in understanding the other person, rather than being understood.

5/9/12:: Here is the upside: a lesson in being alone

Read this as slowly and as carefully as I wrote it:

Take each step lightly, with balance, in the moment, guided solely by internal values and passions, WITH HONESTY-- rather than trying to formulate plans and strive for certain outcomes. Don't seek perspective. Listen. And above ALL ELSE, be kind.

3/22/12:: Really not surprised

I feel like a completely different person. My insides are clearing out.

But there's this one thing...

On really nice afternoons like today, when the sun is warm and the trees are blossomed, as I'm getting off the bus after work-- I sometimes get this overwhelming feeling that I'm going to turn my head... and you're going to be sitting on my front step waiting for me. You never are, of course. And you never would be.

But it really strikes me down with the same intense blow, every single time.

12/14/11:: no more spider, no more leaf.

I've been aware of sadness, apathy, joy, the weather, my friends, my body. I've been aware of my job and tasks and sleep. I've played things out.

But to actually feel something. To cry. Be warm with anger. To miss someone. To worry.

These things are strange islands to me. Vacation spots that I pass by on my boat, but never stop at.

I have postcards to these emotions from my past. I look at them and tell myself I've been there.

It's been so long though that they seem just like stories.